Wow I guess I really am not good at this blogging thing! Has the money really made the difference? Meaning--I'm used to being paid for what I write, so the "doing it for the fun of it" maybe was not what this was about anyway. Anyway. Any way I can start over?
I do have a new love. I guess I should keep it quiet, the neighbors will talk you know. I have tried to hide it but my eyes light up when I see it. I have to touch, hold, possess! You'd think I would be satisfied with two or three but no....I have to have, well, HUNDREDS. I'm insatiable! There are probably self help books out there for people like me, hungry for more, more. I will try to stay away but I just can't do it. Then I think, "Just one quick look" but I lose control and have to have it now. I don't care who is looking. I keep them in the car, hoping I can get them in without, well you know who, seeing I've brought them here. Once he is asleep, I practically dance to the car to bring them in. "Oh I have such plans for you!" I tell them. Gleeful and excited--who could sleep now?--I think of all the ways I will have them. All the ways I can make them my own. All the ways they will satisfy the desires of my heart. And once I have decided--once I have crafted and dreamed and considered--I take the blade to them. Because I must cut them deeply to make them mine. They must be marked and changed and deconstructed so I can recreate them into what I need. I can stitch and not leave much of a scar. Sometimes you can't even tell it's been altered by my blade because the cut was perfect. The hours I spend in re-creation of my masterpiece--cut and stitch and fit and bind. I make it new. I have made it my own. The fabric has yielded to my dreams--the perfect quilt at last.
